for my fellow water-treaders.

"You're a christian, you don't really get a break" -Dr. Heath Lambert.

I constantly feel like I'm just trying really hard to keep up in this life. Like I am always really close to drowning, and I have to fight to keep my head above the water. I don't feel this way because I have a million things going on, or because my life is full of tragedy, but I feel like this is my walk with Christ. Do you ever feel this way? Like we are always learning more and more, and we are never quite sure about anything. We are just stuck here in this murky water hoping we are doing the right thing.

Am I making any sense?

Everyone has stuff going on in their life. We are all worried about someone, scared of losing something, or mourning over a devastating loss. We live in a broken world where one sad thing leads to another. Some people take it as it comes, push it back and forget about it, or go out and pretend none of it exists. As Christians, however, we must take blow after blow, get knocked down, and then kicked. We don't get a break. We don't get to give up. Dr. Lambert said this quote in my counseling class a few days ago. He was talking about a man who was in counseling and when Dr. Lambert was trying to keep him accountable of his walk with Christ he responded with these words "Don't I ever just get a break?". It was then that Lambert told us we really don't get one. A walk with Christ is an ever going, life-changing process. These blows and punches are God chipping away the calluses of our hearts and showing us how much we really need him. We should be constantly reaching out, serving, and trying to improve ourselves. We are never, ever going to be exactly like Christ, why not get as close as we can? God gives us this incredible strength that demands us to keep going, to keep fighting this battle. We don't really know much more than the truth of God's Word. We just have to take what God gives us and run with it. I often find myself lost in situations that I don't really think I can handle. I am a freshman in bible college. The only thing I really want to do at this point is go love people and maybe adopt lots of multicolored children. However, I cannot do this right now, because I'm here writing papers and reading Judges. I have no idea what I am going to do in four years, or what my life will even look like. God could flip everything around for me. He could flip everything around for you, too. Doesn't that freak you out a little? When I think about my life right now, living with 15 other girls, realizing how little I know about the Bible, and learning way more about it than I can really make sense of, I am so blessed. But what is God's will? What is right? Am I prepared to have everything flipped around? All we can do, really, is wait on the Lord, trust him, and just keep on treading water. Love him and love his people. Love 'till it hurts and you feel like you may be drowning, then love some more.

I guess this is pretty jumbled and confusing, but I hope it comforts any other water-treader out there.